From single to spinster

One of the funniest things of living in a small town is checking how your perception about most of the topics you might think is wrong -according to your neighbours, of course. Have you ever considered how difficult it might be for an innocent but, as it seems, quite modern in her thoughts, single girl in her thirties to realize that she is always mistaken? Have you ever thought of how hard it might be for her to change all of her ideas once she is already thirty?  You might be thinking I’m a little bit of a drama queen but, if you want to find out why I am saying this, go on reading, find it out and laugh at me and my unconscious beliefs!

I was having a beer -I know, it should have been a cocktail but, as I already told you, it is not  so easy to live a Sex and the City lifestyle in a small town- with one of my best friends- let’s call her Lola- when we met by chance one of our friends’ mum. She was really friendly and even shares a coffee with us and then, suddenly, when she was leaving, she couldn’t help to drop the bomb.  She asked Lola why she was a spinster if she could meet and go out with any guy like, for instance, his son! Of course we couldn’t avoid laughing at the shocking question, firstly, because his son is gay -something it seems she ignores- secondly, because she really meant it. That is, she was really worried for Lola because she is already 28 and she doesn’t have a boyfriend. For her, she is just a poor spinster and…She is not even 30! Then, a quick thought crossed my mind: when do you pass over that subtle line between being a sexy single or a poor spinster? And, even more important, are we living in a place where people cannot understand that, maybe, you have decided to be single just because you want?

I thought that nowadays you could use the word single, at least, up to the thirties without any problems. Even more, I was really convinced that it was acceptable and understandable that any woman or man decided to live on their own, to be single, without that pejorative connotation most of us heard in words such as spinster or confirmed bachelor. Nevertheless, once again, it seemed towns had their own opinion about my beliefs. How could I be so wrong!!

Without believing most of my neighbours could still hold that out-of-date idea, I decided to lead a kind of survey with my friends and, after quite a lot of research -basically asking in pubs to quite drunk friends- I had to admit that, once more, in my dear and lovely town people are quite old-fashioned in their thoughts. Could I have been more naïve? I really assumed they believe in a single-state life but it seems I was completely mistaken.  We can have good jobs, we can live on our own but, if we don’t get married soon, we’d be poor spinsters in need of a man! I suppose that is our stylish Sex and the Town life!